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- 'Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon R' (美少女戦士セーラームーン R, Bishoujo Senshi Seera Muun Aru) is the second major story arc and series in the Sailor Moon anime. The letter R in its title, according to the Memorial Song Box booklet, can be expanded into either 'Return' or 'Romance'. In the Sailor Moon manga, which came first, this story arc does not have a specific name, but its acts.
Sailor Moon Sailor Stars, Season 5, Part 2 Although the popularity of the idol group Three Lights is off the charts, Usagi hasn’t realized that Seiya, Yaten and Taiki are the Sailor Star Lights. But with the number of Phage growing in the city, the purpose of star seeds is the biggest mystery that needs to be solved.
Some interesting facts have come to light regarding Sailor Moon, and I think by virtue of these mentionings, I might just have to check out the original manga, for instance.According to my sources, Mamoru is, at least in the manga, 17 and about ready to graduate from high school. Now if you ask me, that makes a lot more sense - dude is just about to start getting into a college, so by the time the whole Chibi-usa thing begins? I can believe it. If anything, it makes their relationships... well, way more believable, at any rate.
It also seems that the original manga artist was rather displeased by her lack of involvement in the original production as well. And if you've been following along here, it's really not hard to understand why she might feel that way. This said, the upcoming Sailor Moon series is, again according to my sources, supposed to be a re-imagining of the original tale - one that is supposed to stick much closer to the manga and, one might suspect, turn out to be a way better freaking show.
So with that having been said, perhaps I shall turn a less disdainful eye towards that new show, when it finally does arrive. Which at this point looks like never. Go figure. In the meantime though, we've yet to hit the halfway point on this thing, so let's get right to it, shall we?
Anybody remember what happened last episode? They met the future king, almost got raped by an evil prince, and got whisked away to safety on a hang glider. According to today's episode overview, Chibi-usa decides to leave the safety of the Crystal Palace while nobody is looking because... I guess she wants to sit on a swing and reminisce or something hell if I know.
I swear to christ this girl deserves to die. She really does. We begin today's episode by showing you the giant black coal chunk floating in space. Wait, is that supposed to be the 'Dark Planet?'
Well if it's a giant hunk of coal I guess all the 'diamond' stuff kind of makes sense after all. |
Eh screw it, dude's the prince he can do whatever the hell he wants. He throws his bro across the room and is all like 'boy, don't you give me no lip, go do your job'. Then he goes to stare at an image of Neo Queen Serenity. Because... well, I guess he feels lonely or something if he doesn't stare at her image like, all the freaking time.
Title slide and GO. Neo Crystal Tokyo in the future post-apocalypse, Crystal Palace. It's pretty quiet. Except for Jupiter and her giant freaking mouth.
I think it is physically impossible for her not to mention people dying every five minutes. Like, seriously. |
The hell did this thing come from?! |
... SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF SHOWING THEM RUNNING TOWARDS YOU? Just say 'hey those other two are coming' AND YOU HAVE SAVED YOURSELF A POINTLESS COMPUTER SHOWING THAT IS NEGATED MERE SECONDS LATER. SWEET JESUS.
A tearful reunion later, the two Mamorus are staring at one another and nobody is paying attention to the child. But then they all go to see mommy who is stuck inside a giant crystal anyways. So welcome, Sailor Moon, to meeting yourself. Chibi-usa runs up and is all 'hey I brought the people please wake up?' and Endymion is all 'yeah, I don't actually know if she's even still alive. Also? We kinda... lost the Silver Crystal. Sooooo yeah. In case you were wondering.'
How do you lose something like that? He doesn't even know. It just straight up came up missing one day. But it's a good thing Sailor Moon still has hers from the past. So why not try waking her up? I mean it's worth a shot right?
Moon Prism Power time folks. Shiny sparkles all over the place, but it seems to have no effect. Well darn.
One, Sailor Moon IS your mom. Two, no one is sure that's even really the case. |
Brilliant. Also, didn't Sailor Moon just pass out like, half a second ago?! |
My, what a quick recovery that was. |
This expression makes me think of Nanoha. Mmmm Nanoha... |
Sailor Moon R Episode Guide
But what I want to know is, why in the world would they not have something like that guarded? Or for that matter, why wasn't Neo Queen Serenity hanging onto that shit? I mean, even as a teen she's at least got it on her person at all times - it's the safest place, really. Are you telling me that she has somehow gotten worse at her job as time passes?
Anyhow Wiseman decides to play with hallucinations and all of the sailor scouts show up to blame her for screwing up everything. Oops. Guess that means it's her fault after all. Let's hammer that in home by showing her mom getting put into a crystal again.
Ah, but then he floats on up behind her and tells her that she needs to declare her innocence by force. And of course he can help her make them all understand that she is just completely innocent. No big deal. You just need to reach out.
He'll totally give you some sweet candy. |
... yeah that's exactly what it looks like. |
I'm sure the spiky tentacle things aren't dangerous either. |
Speaking of Dimande, he shows up to be all 'yo, you do the thing I asked you to yet?' then vanishes as Esmeraude tries to say she can handle this thing. I guess he doesn't really care about you. Gee, how predictable. It's not like every other villain has suffered the same fate over the course of the last 25 episodes or anything.
Then Saphir laments about how if only he'd never fallen in love with that stupid Queen, why they'd have killed Sailor Moon and been done with this whole nonsense long ago. Which makes Esmeraude freak out because how dare anyone insinuate that he would have feelings for someone other than her. Despite the fact that... he's never actually shown any feelings for her whatsoever? You know, typical clingy bitch stuff.
She goes on to make a little speech about how she'll be the one using Wiseman in the end and she won't let that maybe dead but possibly not let's just call her comatose Queen wind up with the man she so rightly deserves to be with.
My god she is full of herself, and we are only halfway through.
Anyhow they go on a commercial break, and upon return to our regularly scheduled programming, it seems to be snowing outside the Crystal Palace. And then not snowing. Wait huh?
Esmeraude goes looking for Wiseman and hears some laughter, and is all 'wait I thought we were out of Droids?' and Wiseman shows up to say a thing.
This is pertinent to the person you are talking to... why? |
So he goes 'uh, did the Prince order this or...?' and she's all 'Hell naw, but I wanna take all the credit anyways so gimme'. Wiseman responds by waving his hands over his crystal ball, and determining that he sees the queen that will be ruling in the near future.
Laying it on a little thick aren't you dude? |
... but I'm going to do exactly what you just told me to anyways. |
Then she gets a new wardrobe, and I have to ask myself: Were these guys huge fans of Slayers or something? Because... wow man. Wow.
She looks so much like Nagi at this point it hurts. |
Don't mind your girlfriend, it's just that time of the month. |
No, he literally does need a computer to see what's outside. |
Oh and he tells them that thing is basically someone's heart, which turned them into that monster. So they should treat it gently or something?
Clearly not the kind of person who would be EVIL. |
Watch as the giant dragon crashes against the bubble! Tremble in excitement as the Future Sailor Scouts stand there doing nothing! Watch in horror as the dragon breathes fire and slaps its tail against the barrier! Reel in disbelief as Sailor Moon continues to act incredibly dumb!
And I mean really stupid. |
Child's toy! I was... clearly not going to do anything bad! |
Why, don't give up! Just figure out what it really is and believe in justice.
This is hardly the time you know... |
The dragon crumbles into dust, and we are left with the holographic image of Esmeraude with a crown, who vanishes and then the crown follows shortly after. Oh and she falls into some dark abyss, and Dimande is all drinking wine and going 'oh, dang, she's gone now. Oh well.'
Upon their return to the supposed safe house, the girls learn that the King sort of wasn't paying attention and then the little girl up and vanished. Whoops. Sorry about that. Guess you shouldn't have trusted the future you to look out for your own daughter. How clumsy of you.
Then Wiseman is all 'eh, Esmeraude died but that's fine, I don't care if they win here or not, I got what I came for ha ha ha' END OF EPISODE.
If there is one key takeaway from this entire episode, it's this:
Mamoru is a dick. Period. End of story.So. I kind of slipped up again. By which I mean to say, I basically slept through like three entire days and feel as though I barely slept.
Yeah, it's kind of hard for me to keep up with the regular updates right now. Not gonna let that get in the way though, I'll persevere. I'm already queuing up the next batch of horridness. Some shorter things to help cushion the blow between working on the first Sailor Moon movie, and still recovering from Qwasar.
Just thinking about Qwasar makes me feel ill. Ugh.
So today on Sailor Moon... let's find out!
Seeing that we are finally coming towards the end of this season, instead of telling us what's about to happen, they instead opt to cover the super important even that happened at the end of last episode. Y'know, the part where Dimande's brother died trying to warn him about the true big bad that just killed him and how they're all just being used to accidentally the entire universe?
Somewhere I can feel Shyamalan stroking his chin and saying to himself, 'What a tweeest...'
Oh and Dimande is probably gonna face off with that Wiseguy and totally lose. What's that Episode Title? Not gonna reference that at all? Oh, okay. How very reserved of you.
It's the Shrine, but off in the distance you can see the giant crystal. Oh and Usagi is running away from it... for some reason. I guess she's running off to the shrine to meet up with the other girls the next day. Yes, the NEXT DAY. Let's just ignore the giant evil glowing hunk of rock in the city, and have ourselves some dinner, and dessert, and sleep, and then breakfast and probably lunch while attending school all leisurely. Y'know, no big hurry. They're just about to END THE UNIVERSE. No big deal.
But of course, everyone else in town is just as oblivious to their sudden, impending doom, as evidenced by one Naru Osaka.
It's like when the sun was about to explode, and no one cared. Giant glowing crystal of doom appears out of nowhere? Who cares about that? |
Gee ya THINK?! |
While your heart may be in the right place, I think that 'giant evil crystal in the middle of Tokyo' may be just a tiny bit out of your league, sister. |
Because, yeah, it is kind of a stretch to think that the almost literal dumbest girl in the ENTIRE SCHOOL DISTRICT might somehow have knowledge of that weird alien artifact that has just begun invading your town. Yeah. It's a bit of a stretch. Just a little bit.
Of course, she still wants to stubbornly believe that her friend is hiding something from her, and says that she won't ask any more questions. Before immediately asking if they'll see one another at school tomorrow.
Yeah. So much for not asking any more questions, Naru-bunny. Better luck next time. Also, WHY ARE YOU EVEN CONSIDERING THAT SCHOOLS WILL EVEN BE IN OPERATION THE NEXT DAY HOLY CRAP ARE YOU INSANE OR SOMETHING? Shit like this goes on in the UK, and even those guys would be all 'okay yeah screw this let's uh, keep everyone in their homes till we figure it out kay?' Japan? Nope. They're all 'Sorry the world is ending? Too bad, get your asses to class anyways, your tuition ain't cheap!'
After promising that they will, in fact, meet tomorrow, the wind blows in such a dramatic fashion that you're pretty sure that's not a thing which will happen. In fact, it's all 'this is the dramatic wind of impending deaaaaath.' Off she goes running once again, and Naru prays to God to please protect Usagi and her friends. For no arbitrary reason that makes sense whatsoever I guess.
So after seeing yet MORE scenes of the giant crystal sitting still while the city just whips past the camera, we finally jump over to see Dimande looking at the giant evil crystal generation station thingy, and is soon joined by Wiseman. To let him know that, y'know, it's almost time for Operation Bad Guys Win. Dimande seems to take offense to this, however. How dare this old man show up and pretend like nothing has happened, even though he clearly just came to be all 'sup, uh, ready to end the world now, just thought I'd let you know dude.'
In retrospect, maybe you should've asked him this FIRST. Or not waited until the next day to ask. Just saying. |
Wiseman's rebuttal: Here, have a very close look at my now giant crystal ball, and look at that Dark Crystal we planted last night. JUST LOOK AT IT. It's like an evil chia pet. And it's all ours.
Seriously dude, I know you were there but LOOK AT THIS. |
Which prompts me to ask my first question: If Wiseman's entire gambit at this point is to use the Black Lady, why does he even need Dimande in the first place at this point? I mean, don't get me wrong, I get that he needed him before to keep all those other rubes in line. But now? He is literally the prince of nothing. All of his underlings have either defected or died. So what use is he, at this point? Cannon fodder against the Sailor Scouts, which you were clearly able to easily trounce last episode?
Well, at any rate, Wiseman then pulls out the 'greater good' card. Saying that Saphir's death means nothing in light of the end game that they are now reaching. You know, the end game where the Prince has no kingdom left to rule over? The end game where you kind of destroy the universe? Again, why do you need this guy because all he can do at this point is ruin the momentum you've gathered here.
This is the point where Dimande asks if this is Wiseman's 'true nature'. In which we get to see him actually reveal his true nature. Or at least give us a glimpse of it.
... I think I love this GIF. |
After all, wasn't it Dimande's idea to come take the Earth by force, by any means necessary? Also, I guess they loved that animation sequence as much as I do because they let it linger there while he talks for an awful long time. Once or twice... that's cool. But after the fifth time during a lengthy monologue? Now you're just getting plain ol' lazy.
That said, while it is an effective tactic, I'd have preferred if they had mixed it up just a little bit more.
Somehow, this little speech is enough to dissuade Dimande from blocking the operation from proceeding - even though he's totally never gonna forgive that dude for offing his bro like that. Which, again, makes me wonder: What is the actual point of keeping Dimande around at this point? He is literally a liability to you at this point, and you are gonna let him walk away.
Oh, but Dimande decides to leave him with the most scathing of remarks: That once this whole thing is over with, what's he gonna do?
He's gonna launch a thorough investigation into this.
I get the feeling they're trying to send us a subliminal message... I just don't know what it could possibly be. |
Wait no? That's actually NOT happening? Ami is actually interrupting this super important scene to deliver a depressing speech about how it'd be awfully swell if they could eat cake one more time?
Great. Now you jinxed it. Way to go brains. |
You have been delaying ALL FREAKING DAY. And now when it is clear that you need to jump in and DO SOMETHING, this is the point where you go 'whoa, uh, guys, um, just a second I'm uh, I need to get my shit together I mean I've been thinking about this all day and uh, well, cake, am I right?'
F***ing brilliant Ami Mizuno. Once again, forgetting that she is supposed to be the smartest person in this show. Leave it to Rei to suggest she's being an idiot, and the other girls are all 'yeah, let's protect the peace and then eat some cake!'
And this is why it is a terrible idea to let Japanese school girls protect the universe, folks. Because priorities. Also really terrible character development sequences. Speaking of sequences, you know what we haven't seen in forever? EVERYBODY TRANSFORM! So strap into your seats because they're giving you the full package. EVERYBODY GO. No multi-screen BS here, nope you are getting full-sized Sailor Senshi Henshin goodness. Complete with all of their final poses juxtaposed in front of their symbol.
Once THAT is finally over, they get into trying to break into the evil aura field by, uh, running into it. Repeatedly. I guess through sheer willpower and talking about the whole trying to save Chibi-usa thing, they are able to remember that, oh yeah, they have that 'star power' thing they probably should've been using, hold their hands up, and scream into the air until they vanish in a ball of rainbow-colored light.
TRIPPY VISUALS TIME!
Don't worry, that Porygon episode of Pokemon won't air for another three years. |
Welp, guess it's time for Mercury to earn her keep with that fancy visor, while Dimande is all trying to be seductive and shit.
... you are not very good with pick-up lines are you? ... or names for that matter? |
OH GOD WHAT NO OH GOD THE HORROR. NO NO DO NOT WANT NEVER MIND. |
After the break? He starts to get a little bit more forceful, what with tightening his grip on her arm and demanding that she hurry up and kiss him, even though he basically just made her brain shut off and probably can't do anything? And he leans in anyways but she starts tearing up, and calls out for Mamoru.
Um. Dude. I... nevermind. Just. I can't even. |
Even with the audio? It's just as wrong. |
Anyway, moments later the lights flicker back on in Usagi's eyes. Literally. Just. Literally flicker.
CLAP ON. CLAP OFF. |
Sailor Moon is not having any of that shit though, and is refusing to look at his third eye now. She also tries to tell him that this isn't how love works? It's kind of a thing that has to be mutually consensual. As in, two people agree to it? It's not a one-way street. But hey, Dimande is a prince and with a name so demanding, you think he's gonna give two shits? Dude is large and in charge. He gets what he wants, and what he wants is your affections.
The mind control goes to work again, and she falls to her knees before him, and as she is about to kiss his hand (no really she's about to kiss his hand), she starts seeing all of those people who support her. From the annoying brat she's trying to save to that dude she has an on and off again relationship with. It's enough to break his hypnotic powers of suggestion.
She then proceeds to chastise the shit out of him, like some kind of mother. Which... I guess she's chronologically capable of being, if you think about it?
Oh god this just got a lot weirder EW EW EW.
Yeah man, like, give peace a chance and all brah. |
But that's not what Wiseman said! Oh. Wait. Hold on. Minds are being blown apart.
Oh. SNAP. |
List Of Sailor Moon Episodes - Wikipedia
And now he finally gets what his brother was trying to say the entire time. That uh, y'know, Wiseman is kind of an evil douche hellbent on destroying the universe and uh, has kinda been lying to you this whole time? Y'know. Because he's an evil douche with a skull for a head. That really should have been your first clue that something wasn't right.Leave it to Usagi to connect the final dots for him: It was because Saphir learned this that he had to die. And now, Dimande has the look of someone who literally just got schooled by the most idiotic girl in the entire city he was trying to destroy.
Who's dumb NOW?
He chooses to believe her, and then Wiseman shows up to tell him that uh, Sailor Moon? She's kind of gonna ruin everything? So he should probably kill her? But now Dimande mans up and is all 'you're not the boss of me, dad!' and Wiseman finally comes to the conclusion that he should have arrived at a whole day earlier. Dimande is a liability and has no further use, so you should probably off him or something.
But fiiiiiirst he's gonna spout exposition in your face about how he is totally winning the game right now before he blows your face off. And points out how useless you are now. Dark energy goes flying around and they have a little tiff, and Wiseman is all 'Death Phantom wants to destroy the world lol' and he attacks Sailor Moon, which of course means Dimande has to step in at the last second and do his heroic redemption thing through death.
They just love flashing this thing every chance they get. |
Don't worry though. You've still got a few precious moments to make up for all the dickishness you've perpetrated by explaining in great detail why you were such a tremendous asshat paving the road to hell with good intentions.
I get the feeling they would have made terrible neighbors. What with the whole fit-throwing and megalomania. |
Sailor Moon tells him that because he saved her and realized his mistake, he can make good. But he's kinda, y'know. Dying? So that won't work. Oh and don't worry about Wiseman piecing himself back together. It's no big deal. He looks up and realizes that she is actually crying for him. A guy who pretty much spent his entire time here trying to kill her. I'll admit, that is actually a heartwarming sentiment. Doubly so because, well, she didn't have to use force to get her point across.
Asking her to please take care of the Black Moon Clan, he moves into the final phase of his death scene, with all the shaky hands and the Wiseman sneaking up as he closes his eyes, and proclaims his love for Her as he fades away.
Speaking of Wiseman he straight up starts choking her and demands the Silver Crystal. She asks why, and his answer? It's because he's immortal.
... on the one hand, it answers some questions, but it doesn't actually answer her question? She asks for Tuxedo Mask to save her (like he always does), but he puts her down and decides to show her what he's up to. Turns out he's hanging out with Chibi-usa. They're having a happy time, and that crushes her completely for some reason. Until she decides it's probably some kind of trick? But then he decides to show her the most disturbing scene of all time, the big mother of them all. The literal Mack Daddy of everything that is completely wrong with this show.
And now we have reached Incestuous Pedophilia to the list of crimes against Mamoru. Maybe? |
But at the last moment she can hear Chibi-usa call for help, and she decides not to fall for his trickery, and have faith. So he decides to kill her this time.
OH WAIT SORRY TUXEDO MASK FINALLY ARRIVES. Good thing he wasn't actually making out with his grown-up daughter from the future. Oh and I guess those other girls finally showed up, much to Wiseman's amusement. Because Black Lady is now at FULL POWER.
So, uh, that whole thing just now? It was... kinda pointless. Yeah sorry he was leading you on I guess but hey, it was worth a shot right? Guess it's time to open that there Dark Gate and summon forth the power to destroy the universe now. Fading away, Tuxedo Mask declares that he has found the 'center' of this Dark Gate, and then they are suddenly there. Oh, and Black Lady shows up out of it looking all skankalicious as ever. Calling herself the messenger of Death Phantom. To kinda end the universe. And laugh about it! Oh the laughter.
Sailor Moon R Episode
Now that the episode is over, I'm going to go over a couple more points I was unable to cover earlier. First of all, where did Tuxedo Mask go at the beginning, exactly? They say he went on a scouting mission, but he already returned from that to save their asses LAST episode! So between the time that ended, he just went back in because he didn't find what he was looking for the first time? What, his Masky-sense was tingling telling him Sailor Moon was in danger, so he had to abandon his incredibly important mission to go take care of that?Cached
Secondly: Chibi-usa clearly stated earlier in the series that she wanted to marry Mamoru. In fact, that was one of the first major points of contention between her and Usagi, who we would only later learn is her mother. Which brings me to my NEXT point: HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT REALIZE THIS GIRL LOOKS A HELL OF A LOT LIKE YOUR MOTHER? OR THAT HER BOYFRIEND JUST HAPPENS TO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOUR DAD? THEY EVEN WEAR THE SAME FRIGGIN' MASK HOLY SHIT.
Watch Sailor Moon R Episode 15 English Subbed At Gogoanime
Anyways, the point I wanted to bring up is that, while that whole make-out-with-your-daughter-by-the-moonlight scene didn't necessarily happen, it still showcases a very strong desire that the girl had long before becoming transformed into an adult. And considering there are still two episodes left in this season, I'm willing to bet that card has yet to be played.So. Still convinced that Sailor Moon is one of the greatest anime of all time, and not a horrifying mess of WTF? Because holy crap. That is some SUPER shady shit right there.
Super. Shady. Shit.